For many of us, sex is based on what we think it should be, how we think it should be, how we think it should look. This is often a media-based, movie based, fantasy-based, porn-based model, filled with the idea of performance and expectation.
O, the way we express o, especially for women, has been caught up in this model.
The expectation of it is that there's lots of moaning, groaning, screaming, shouting.
There's lots of writhing, wriggling.
There are earthquakes and stars colliding…
And so often we think that's how it should be.
And if I'm not experiencing that then we're not doing it right.
And we're not doing it well enough.
It's not about a performance.
It's about pleasure!
And that's going to be different every day.
Some o's are ripples that move gently through your body. They're quiet and soft.
Some o's are a tremble, deep in the earth of your being. They vibrate through you with hardly an awareness on the surface.
Some o's are quick, they're there, they're gone, a shooting star in the night sky.
Some o's are tight, fists squeezing, toes curling, intense.
Some o's are long, slow waves, rollers in the ocean of pleasure.
And… more…
Some are quiet, some are noisy.
Some are very loud, Oh Yes, Oh Baby, Oh Whatever Your Lover's Name Is…
Some are a held breath, some are a gasp.
They're different, and they'll be different every day.
Because you are different.
Your body is different, your emotional state is different, your chemical state is different, and so many more factors.
Then, and this is important.
Your o's are yours, they're for you.
They're not for anybody else's ego, they're not to make anyone else feel good, they're not to buy into the 'way it should be'.
They're not about an expectation.
They're about where you are, where your body and heart are. In this moment.
And this is important too.
Even though we're talking about o's here. It's not always about o's, it's about pleasure, intimacy, connection, energy, sensation.
And if o's are not happening maybe that's about something else.
Because our se#$%^&#y is not in a vacuum, it's connected to all that we are, to all of our life.
Maybe if you're chasing this elusive o fairy all over the place, and it's nearly there, and now it's gone, maybe there's something to relax about.
And if it's not happening and you're getting frustrated, maybe there's something to just let go of.
And if it's irritating and you just want it to be over, maybe there's something that needs to be said.
Whatever it is, and whatever your body does, allow it to be a natural expression of where you are.
Allow it to flow, freely.
With no expectation, no judgment, no story, no analysis, no conference.
This is where I am in pleasure, in energy, in sexuality.
There's a softening into this, a softening into openness, into power and into presence.
And into possibility.
The delicious possibility of this pleasure-filled moment.
~ Jonti Searll
The expectation of it is that there's lots of moaning, groaning, screaming, shouting.
There's lots of writhing, wriggling.
There are earthquakes and stars colliding…
And so often we think that's how it should be.
And if I'm not experiencing that then we're not doing it right.
And we're not doing it well enough.
It's not about a performance.
It's about pleasure!
And that's going to be different every day.
Some o's are ripples that move gently through your body. They're quiet and soft.
Some o's are a tremble, deep in the earth of your being. They vibrate through you with hardly an awareness on the surface.
Some o's are quick, they're there, they're gone, a shooting star in the night sky.
Some o's are tight, fists squeezing, toes curling, intense.
Some o's are long, slow waves, rollers in the ocean of pleasure.
And… more…
Some are quiet, some are noisy.
Some are very loud, Oh Yes, Oh Baby, Oh Whatever Your Lover's Name Is…
Some are a held breath, some are a gasp.
They're different, and they'll be different every day.
Because you are different.
Your body is different, your emotional state is different, your chemical state is different, and so many more factors.
Then, and this is important.
Your o's are yours, they're for you.
They're not for anybody else's ego, they're not to make anyone else feel good, they're not to buy into the 'way it should be'.
They're not about an expectation.
They're about where you are, where your body and heart are. In this moment.
And this is important too.
Even though we're talking about o's here. It's not always about o's, it's about pleasure, intimacy, connection, energy, sensation.
And if o's are not happening maybe that's about something else.
Because our se#$%^&#y is not in a vacuum, it's connected to all that we are, to all of our life.
Maybe if you're chasing this elusive o fairy all over the place, and it's nearly there, and now it's gone, maybe there's something to relax about.
And if it's not happening and you're getting frustrated, maybe there's something to just let go of.
And if it's irritating and you just want it to be over, maybe there's something that needs to be said.
Whatever it is, and whatever your body does, allow it to be a natural expression of where you are.
Allow it to flow, freely.
With no expectation, no judgment, no story, no analysis, no conference.
This is where I am in pleasure, in energy, in sexuality.
There's a softening into this, a softening into openness, into power and into presence.
And into possibility.
The delicious possibility of this pleasure-filled moment.
~ Jonti Searll
