A free man’s sincerity is more substantial to him than his need for your permission.
Sisters,
A free man’s sincerity is more substantial to him than his need for your permission.
Yes, read that again!
It’s time that you stop moaning about the fact that your man isn’t strong enough.
That he does not use his potential (which you have always seen from miles afar, right?)
That he is not impressive, emotional or masculine enough.
That he doesn’t fxck you well or regularly enough.
That he can not communicate, make you happy, provide for you, make you feel vibrant and alive, load the dishwasher properly.
When I ask a woman what she wants in a man, the number one answer is: “He has to be rooted, available, attentive, and (emotionally) mature, and preferably treat me like a Queen.”
If you want to be treated like a Queen by a rooted, available, attentive, and emotionally mature man, you want him to be a King, right?
What you are forgetting, though, is that the things you want from this Kingman of your dreams are simultaneously the very things that will endanger to completely disrupt all your Cloud 9 delusions that are preserving it.
Quite an oxymoron.
Well, here is a truth bomb for you!
When a man conditionally suppresses all his needs and desires for yours, he will swiftly die a sudden death or disappear into the twilight “half-the-man-he-was” zone.
With every “of course, my love” and “yes dear” he utters, his balls will retract, and after a fair amount of time, they will be gone for good.
Let me be clear. Your man loves you, without a doubt, but he loves himself even more, or at least equally.
If you want your man to be free and anchored in his truth, he will say no when he means no and yes when he means yes.
He will be 100 percent committed to walking his talk and path, regardless of whether you choose to accompany him.
Such a man is considered sexy AF, but when push comes to shove, many women deem him grim and ghastly because he pushes her into a position where her tricks and manipulations no longer work.
Result? Wonder Woman can no longer control him with her emotional and sägsual whip. She has lost her ability to flog him into submission the way she did with all the other men she has been with since she was a teenage girl.
All the tools she used to provoke, beguile, overwhelm, emasculate, and despair him to get what she wanted have lost their superpower.
Not being in control of a man is a horrible thing for a woman with an ancestral history of witch hunts, abuse, oppression, and infernos in her DNA.
And over the years, as an unconscious survival mechanism, many women, understandably, have learned a far more covert way to create leverage over their men—the style of conditioning, criticizing, and drilling their partners.
What I try to get across here is this: men nor women are here to be owned nor leashed, to be given treats when they do good, or punished when they do wrong.
For example:
Men should not only be treated with sex when they behave in a good way.
Women should not only be provided with safety when they give sex to their men.
In relationships, it is vital to explore what love is and question whether our unspoken contracts are based on real love or on bargains and subtle power agreements to stay in control.
Because let’s be honest, the part of you that wants to have the reins, does take pleasure in being given everything you want, right?
You’d rather want to hear a YES instead of a NO.
I understand. But without awareness, this can quickly become a full-blown, hardcore Princess Syndrome.
Or a Mother/Son connection.
We all know what happened to Oedipus and his mom, right?
A real man doesn’t do well with girls and princesses.
Just as a real woman doesn’t want to hang out with boys and Mr. Nice Guys.
She wants a free man, rooted in his truth, who calls her out on her bullshit AND loves her unconditionally. Not some subservient dude. Cripes, there's a yay-sayer for you.
The most startling part about being with a free man, if you can let go of all the subconscious conditions and trauma (and yes, I know you can not heal this with a snip of the finger), is also the most beautiful.
When a free man chooses to love you, you know on the deepest level of your being that this is the most beautiful thing you’ll ever receive.
Because this is his truth.
YOU are his truth.
And by submitting to him (not in the sense of giving your power away, by no means), you’ll also submit to the fact that he won’t always make you happy.
He is going to frighten you…
Challenge you…
Displease you…
He will call you out on your shadows, your manipulative ways.
He’s blind for your pouted lips, your feet-stamping little girl, and your theatrical fits.
And he will shrug his shoulders when you try to condition his behavior by dangling your goody bag of sexual promises in front of his face.
He knows your happiness is not his job.
It’s yours.
~ Bas Waijers Baumann
A free man’s sincerity is more substantial to him than his need for your permission.
Yes, read that again!
It’s time that you stop moaning about the fact that your man isn’t strong enough.
That he does not use his potential (which you have always seen from miles afar, right?)
That he is not impressive, emotional or masculine enough.
That he doesn’t fxck you well or regularly enough.
That he can not communicate, make you happy, provide for you, make you feel vibrant and alive, load the dishwasher properly.
When I ask a woman what she wants in a man, the number one answer is: “He has to be rooted, available, attentive, and (emotionally) mature, and preferably treat me like a Queen.”
If you want to be treated like a Queen by a rooted, available, attentive, and emotionally mature man, you want him to be a King, right?
What you are forgetting, though, is that the things you want from this Kingman of your dreams are simultaneously the very things that will endanger to completely disrupt all your Cloud 9 delusions that are preserving it.
Quite an oxymoron.
Well, here is a truth bomb for you!
When a man conditionally suppresses all his needs and desires for yours, he will swiftly die a sudden death or disappear into the twilight “half-the-man-he-was” zone.
With every “of course, my love” and “yes dear” he utters, his balls will retract, and after a fair amount of time, they will be gone for good.
Let me be clear. Your man loves you, without a doubt, but he loves himself even more, or at least equally.
If you want your man to be free and anchored in his truth, he will say no when he means no and yes when he means yes.
He will be 100 percent committed to walking his talk and path, regardless of whether you choose to accompany him.
Such a man is considered sexy AF, but when push comes to shove, many women deem him grim and ghastly because he pushes her into a position where her tricks and manipulations no longer work.
Result? Wonder Woman can no longer control him with her emotional and sägsual whip. She has lost her ability to flog him into submission the way she did with all the other men she has been with since she was a teenage girl.
All the tools she used to provoke, beguile, overwhelm, emasculate, and despair him to get what she wanted have lost their superpower.
Not being in control of a man is a horrible thing for a woman with an ancestral history of witch hunts, abuse, oppression, and infernos in her DNA.
And over the years, as an unconscious survival mechanism, many women, understandably, have learned a far more covert way to create leverage over their men—the style of conditioning, criticizing, and drilling their partners.
What I try to get across here is this: men nor women are here to be owned nor leashed, to be given treats when they do good, or punished when they do wrong.
For example:
Men should not only be treated with sex when they behave in a good way.
Women should not only be provided with safety when they give sex to their men.
In relationships, it is vital to explore what love is and question whether our unspoken contracts are based on real love or on bargains and subtle power agreements to stay in control.
Because let’s be honest, the part of you that wants to have the reins, does take pleasure in being given everything you want, right?
You’d rather want to hear a YES instead of a NO.
I understand. But without awareness, this can quickly become a full-blown, hardcore Princess Syndrome.
Or a Mother/Son connection.
We all know what happened to Oedipus and his mom, right?
A real man doesn’t do well with girls and princesses.
Just as a real woman doesn’t want to hang out with boys and Mr. Nice Guys.
She wants a free man, rooted in his truth, who calls her out on her bullshit AND loves her unconditionally. Not some subservient dude. Cripes, there's a yay-sayer for you.
The most startling part about being with a free man, if you can let go of all the subconscious conditions and trauma (and yes, I know you can not heal this with a snip of the finger), is also the most beautiful.
When a free man chooses to love you, you know on the deepest level of your being that this is the most beautiful thing you’ll ever receive.
Because this is his truth.
YOU are his truth.
And by submitting to him (not in the sense of giving your power away, by no means), you’ll also submit to the fact that he won’t always make you happy.
He is going to frighten you…
Challenge you…
Displease you…
He will call you out on your shadows, your manipulative ways.
He’s blind for your pouted lips, your feet-stamping little girl, and your theatrical fits.
And he will shrug his shoulders when you try to condition his behavior by dangling your goody bag of sexual promises in front of his face.
He knows your happiness is not his job.
It’s yours.
~ Bas Waijers Baumann
