The high temple arts - sacred sexuality - isn’t just really good sex, it’s not slow sex, it’s not present sex, and it’s definitely not a set of techniques you deploy to get what you want. It’s the posture you come from, the source you’re rooted in, the part of you that is actually rooted deeply in Self and meeting another body...and many men don’t know how to look there.
It’s easier to optimize performance than confront motive, and many women are out there erroneously thinking that a good orgasm is the pinnacle of sex - so many women are just as ignorant.
I see it sometimes in the subtle places of immersion space, and I see it when men reach out to me hoping I'll share 'technique' that will make them shamanic lovers. It's not always in what's said, it's something weaving underneath.
“How do I become irresistible?”
“How do I avoid rejection?”
“How do I be unforgettable?”
"How do I become a cosmic lover?"
And those unexamined questions will corrupt everything.
--------------
So the uninitiated man goes one of two directions.
The first man learns technique.
He studies presence.
Eye contact.
Image.
Breath.
Touch.
Scripted words.
He learns how to move a woman’s body, evoke her heart, how to pantomime attunement, how to say the right things at the right time...and he becomes…effective...uninitiated women see his grift and take it for truth.
But underneath it he’s still trying to get something. Access. Validation. Orgasm. Proof.
His presence is calibrated.
His desire is strategic.
He’s not meeting a woman, he’s working her. He may not even be consciously aware he's doing it - he may just think "I haven't found my divine feminine" or "I'm not ready for commitment" or "I'm in a season of exploration."
That’s the tantric fuckboy; not because he’s evil...because he established and refined the method and never purified the source.
---------------
The second man rejects all of that, hecollapses - he decides he doesn’t want to be “that guy" so he swings the other way.
“I’ll just give.”
“I’ll just worship.”
“I’ll expect nothing.”
"I'm here to worship the divine feminine - her desire is my gospel."
"My satisfaction is her turn on."
He abandons his hunger, softens his edge, silences his want and calls it dharma, he ends up in dynamics where he’s overgiving - supporting, holding, attuning - while quietly starving.
And then he wonders why he feels unseen.
Why the polarity dies.
Why resentment creeps in...but whoops, he chose that.
As a wise one on socials often says (somebody remind me of his name please): There are no victims, only volunteers.
He chose a posture that didn’t require reciprocity, likely to atone for the sins of his father, and therefore chose a scene partner to validate his stoic unworthiness.
Self abandonment and chronic malnourishment is where so many good-hearted men end up.
Manosphere men often stem from a fear of this pattern.
---------------
Sacred sexuality is not selfless and it is also not a covert transaction, it’s something more confronting: it requires you to be clean and transparent in your desire. It requires you to bring all of all of you to the dance.
Not disguising hunger, not leveraging your depth; requiring reciprocity - not bargaining for it.
That last part is where men break because requiring means risking loss. It asks that you don’t try to make a woman what she isn't, or try to coerce her when she can’t meet you, you don’t overgive to earn your place, you don’t perform presence to secure access.
That level of self-respect is a whole different beast than learning some new techniques.
Sacred sexuality, the way I guide it, is not about your skill, or technique, or words - it's not about the specific action, and it's not about strategy, it's not even about the flavor of sex you want to have. It is about your Come From - what is the onus, the deep tectonic layer that your sexuality it rooted into. Is it from the adult masculine? Or adolescent boy? Or wounded man?
You don’t need better sexual skill, you need to stop bringing distorted, juvenile motive into intimate space and trying to pass it off as sacred.
Divine sex is about the posture of your heart and soul and body. It's about how willing you are to let the fire of each threshold burn away your bullshit as you walk deeper into the temple. It's about learning to trust your discernment, leash your lust and say no to any woman who is not willing and able to meet you there.
Because using a woman's body to disappear himself inside of her is the action of a boy hiding behind his mother's skirts.
Sex is both the place where we can hide the most distortion, and the place where we can most meet ourselves - our empowered agency determines which it is.
The temple does not open for boys, it opens for the man willing to be seen - stripped of performance, stripped of strategy -
standing in the truth of his desire.
I see it sometimes in the subtle places of immersion space, and I see it when men reach out to me hoping I'll share 'technique' that will make them shamanic lovers. It's not always in what's said, it's something weaving underneath.
“How do I become irresistible?”
“How do I avoid rejection?”
“How do I be unforgettable?”
"How do I become a cosmic lover?"
And those unexamined questions will corrupt everything.
--------------
So the uninitiated man goes one of two directions.
The first man learns technique.
He studies presence.
Eye contact.
Image.
Breath.
Touch.
Scripted words.
He learns how to move a woman’s body, evoke her heart, how to pantomime attunement, how to say the right things at the right time...and he becomes…effective...uninitiated women see his grift and take it for truth.
But underneath it he’s still trying to get something. Access. Validation. Orgasm. Proof.
His presence is calibrated.
His desire is strategic.
He’s not meeting a woman, he’s working her. He may not even be consciously aware he's doing it - he may just think "I haven't found my divine feminine" or "I'm not ready for commitment" or "I'm in a season of exploration."
That’s the tantric fuckboy; not because he’s evil...because he established and refined the method and never purified the source.
---------------
The second man rejects all of that, hecollapses - he decides he doesn’t want to be “that guy" so he swings the other way.
“I’ll just give.”
“I’ll just worship.”
“I’ll expect nothing.”
"I'm here to worship the divine feminine - her desire is my gospel."
"My satisfaction is her turn on."
He abandons his hunger, softens his edge, silences his want and calls it dharma, he ends up in dynamics where he’s overgiving - supporting, holding, attuning - while quietly starving.
And then he wonders why he feels unseen.
Why the polarity dies.
Why resentment creeps in...but whoops, he chose that.
As a wise one on socials often says (somebody remind me of his name please): There are no victims, only volunteers.
He chose a posture that didn’t require reciprocity, likely to atone for the sins of his father, and therefore chose a scene partner to validate his stoic unworthiness.
Self abandonment and chronic malnourishment is where so many good-hearted men end up.
Manosphere men often stem from a fear of this pattern.
---------------
Sacred sexuality is not selfless and it is also not a covert transaction, it’s something more confronting: it requires you to be clean and transparent in your desire. It requires you to bring all of all of you to the dance.
Not disguising hunger, not leveraging your depth; requiring reciprocity - not bargaining for it.
That last part is where men break because requiring means risking loss. It asks that you don’t try to make a woman what she isn't, or try to coerce her when she can’t meet you, you don’t overgive to earn your place, you don’t perform presence to secure access.
That level of self-respect is a whole different beast than learning some new techniques.
Sacred sexuality, the way I guide it, is not about your skill, or technique, or words - it's not about the specific action, and it's not about strategy, it's not even about the flavor of sex you want to have. It is about your Come From - what is the onus, the deep tectonic layer that your sexuality it rooted into. Is it from the adult masculine? Or adolescent boy? Or wounded man?
You don’t need better sexual skill, you need to stop bringing distorted, juvenile motive into intimate space and trying to pass it off as sacred.
Divine sex is about the posture of your heart and soul and body. It's about how willing you are to let the fire of each threshold burn away your bullshit as you walk deeper into the temple. It's about learning to trust your discernment, leash your lust and say no to any woman who is not willing and able to meet you there.
Because using a woman's body to disappear himself inside of her is the action of a boy hiding behind his mother's skirts.
Sex is both the place where we can hide the most distortion, and the place where we can most meet ourselves - our empowered agency determines which it is.
The temple does not open for boys, it opens for the man willing to be seen - stripped of performance, stripped of strategy -
standing in the truth of his desire.
